


foolish angel ; d.m

by lavenderreigh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Dark, F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, Multi, Romance, Smut, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderreigh/pseuds/lavenderreigh
Summary: her life was miserable until him."you fell for me, my foolish angel.""You think I wouldn't find out about your stupid plan to avenge him!" His voice burned through my ears, tears threaten to slide down my cheeks as he spoke of him."Avada Kedavra!"A story full of dark topics and plot twists, enjoy the horrible reality of a girls life.
Relationships: Aurora Oklay/Lorenzo Berkshire, Victoria Ainsley/Draco Malfoy





	1. Foolish Angel

_I love you Draco, I know it's hard but please answer this I need to know if you're okay._

_Yours,_   
_Victoria_

_———_

_Victoria Ainsley, her life never was easy especially not after meeting Draco Malfoy. Name Ainsley has always been knowing for being a rich pure-blood family. Then her father died, why? Secret. Why did mum keep it a secret? Unknown. Why is her sister in Ravenclaw and she's in Slytherin? Another secret. You see Victoria's life **was** made of secrets. And the truth behind them, well let's just say it wasn't pleasant. _

**_Author's note_ **

Hello and thank you for choosing to click on this book, I will be posting at least one chapter a week. The first few chapters will be slow burn as you'll need to get to know the characters.

**_Warning_ **

This book will contain strong language, mature scenes, depression, possible self-harm, suicidal thoughts and other dark topics. There will always be a warning at the top of a chapter if needed but please be aware what can be triggering to you. 

**_Disclaimer_ **

I do not own any characters or books/movies by JK Rowling, this is only a twist of my own to her story which won't be fully based of it. However the characters that I do own I take full credit for. Any resemblance to other books is **_fully_** coincidental.


	2. RUDE

**_writer's pov_ **

_~ few days before Victoria's arrival at Hogwarts ~_

Dark gloomy day in the neighbourhood, their house being a huge mansion with trees all around it making it _very_ private which was good for the most part. The sun covered by the dark clouds in the sky, light slightly peaking through. Wind hitting Victoria's face as she sat outside in the garden, it used to be filled with many variations of flowers and so much greenery until her father passed leaving her mum in a hole of deep depression the state of the house resembling it. Victoria's mother barely spoke to Charlotte and her after her father magically died, yes magically not because they're wizards but because it was a mystery that only her mother knew.

Victoria didn't question it much, she was only 8 when her father died leaving Charlotte needing to take care of her, they had house elfes to speak to apart from that they were pretty much lonely.

Sitting in the garden was something Victoria enjoyed dearly the peace and quiet, away from the real word, few weeks ago her mother made the decision to transfer her to Hogwarts, it turned everything upside down the anxiety rushing though her body daily was unexplainable. All her muscles were tense since that announcement and she just wasn't able to relax. On the other hand her sister was calm you could even say excited, Charlotte is a very smart individual she took it after their father he also attended Hogwarts, a proud Ravenclaw he was.

Victoria looked up to the sky trying to imagine what her first day will look like, she knew she'd be sorted into Ravenclaw just like her father however this uneasy feeling came haunting her body whenever she thought of the _sorting hat._ The breeze hitting her bare chest making her shiver, she had a shirt with a low v neck on with a pair of light grey sweatpants, a common outfit for around the house. Her fingertips lightly digging into the grass as the thought of the first day swiped across her mind _again._

_~~_

**_Victoria_ **   
_1st of September, 1995_

"Merlin, I'm so fucking scared Charlotte, why would mother think it's a good idea to just move us when I'm in 5th year and you're in 6th." I rambled while laying my head against the seat in our compartment.

Charlotte turned from the window towards me studying my face closely, an expression of quilt appeared on her face. "I'm sure she had good intentions, I mean it would be nice if that wasn't the first thing she said to us in months." She responded looking down at her knees.

With irritation growing in me I started fidgeting with my necklace, it was the only thing I had after my father it was a little emerald gem on a sliver chain. Not sure why emerald but it didn't matter it was beautiful. He gave it to me when a was young.

"Well fuck her, we don't need her we've been alone ever since she decided to shut herself off," I scoffed.

Slapping both my hands against my knees to then get up I walked over to the compartment door. "I'm going to find a trolly with food, want anything?" I asked with a soft smile.

Charlotte looked up from her knees meeting my eyes. "Thank you but I'm alright, you need any money?"

I shook me head. "Charlotte don't be ridiculous I brought some with me, I'll be back in 5."

Exiting our compartment I looked left and right to see if there was any sign of a trolly or someone who could even help me find it. Not to my surprise there was no one to be seen I started walking, I turned around for a second to look behind me and suddenly I bump into this big bulky figure, quickly turning around to meet his deep brown eyes.

"I'm really sorry, I'm trying to find some stupid trolly with food but as you can tell I'm new, no clue where I'm going and-" I spoke really quickly until I was cut off.

He rubbed the back of his neck letting out a soft chuckle.

"Hey, hey it's fine alright, I was doing the same thing in fact," He gave me this warm smile and stuck his hand out towards me.

"My names Benjamin Blackwood but feel free to call me Ben."

I shook his hand. "I'm Victoria Ainsley." I knew in a moment he was going to recognise my last name, wasn't really sure if I was prepared. 

His eyes widened a little, yup here it comes give it a second.

"Wait a minute I've heard that name before, Ainsley. Oh yeah! Didn't someone in your family die or something and no one has a clue why."

And there we go.

"Yeah my dad however I don't really need that to be the main focus of this conversation." I responded making me sound a little too annoyed than I meant. 

"Fuck sorry, well the trolly must be somewhere down here since it passed my compartment a little while a go, if you want I can help you look for it." He replied with an apologetic look.

"You know I'm not really hungry anymore, think I'll head back." I say while pointing the way I came from with my thumb.

"I see, well it was nice to meet you Ainsley." He grinned and gave me a nod before turning around to walk back to his compartment.

Turning around on my heel I walked back to mine, once I entered Charlotte glanced at me with a confused look.

"What?" I questioned while giving her a glare. I dont intend to be this bitchy but it's just something that's a part of my personality maybe it was due to my previous problems with my mental health but I wasn't completely sure.

Charlottes face changed into a more annoyed look from the way I spoke to her which I fully understood.

"You know _Victoria_ , you don't have to be so rude." She snapped looking back at the window.

I went over to my seat to my surprise it was still warm like I never left, a little sigh escaped my lips as feeling of disappointment in myself rushed through me.

"Look Charlotte, I'm really sorry I didn't mean that at all, actually while trying to look for that stupid trolly which I couldn't even find, I met this guy-" Charlotte quickly cut me off while excitement filled her big blue eyes.

"Oh my gosh! Was he hot? What year do you think he was in. Do you know his house?"

I tried not laugh at Charlottes excitement but it was just too difficult, so I let out a quiet laugh trying to somewhat hide it. Charlotte seemed to take a notice to this and gave me a slight glare.

"Right okay, I only know his name's Benjamin Blackwood. He is pretty good-looking though. I think he's in my year not entirely sure, his house... Yeah no clue." I could see the interest grow in her eyes. 

~~

We arrived at Hogwarts pretty quick, too quick for my liking. The lump in my throat continued to grow as we slowly approached the massive entrance of Hogwarts, it is breathtaking better than I imagined, it fitted my character perfectly. The way the stone walls were designed, the candles scattered around the walls, the atmosphere felt immaculate. It felt like home so much that I managed to forget about the sorting ceremony for a few moments which was all I wished for.

A women approached me and Charlotte, giving us a warm smile, meeting my eyes then Charlottes.

"Hello girls, I'm Professor McGonagall. I'd like yous two to follow me so yous can be sorted to a house, I presume yous will be put together since yous are siblings so don't worry." She quickly turned around and walked quickly towards the Great Hall me and Charlotte following.

As we entered the Hall I was in complete awe, this place was really magical, I felt at home like I was supposed to be here. I was quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Charlottes name being called.

"Charlotte Ainsley!"

I looked over to Charlotte who was sitting on the stool the hat was placed on her head now. It spoke quietly so trying to make out what it said was really difficult.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Not surprised at all I clapped for my sister with a feeling of pride over taking my emotions, in that moment I felt good that the only person I loved was happy, she quickly ran over to the Ravenclaw table and got greeted by everyone.

"Victoria Ainsley!"

I felt all the eyes on me burning through the back of my skull. Slowly walking over to the stool making sure I don't trip, my stomach started twisting making me feel nauseas. I reached the stool and took a seat, the sorting hat was placed on my head within seconds.

_"Hmm interesting, bravery something a Gryffindor has but no... Smart yes very smart perhaps a Ravenclaw, that doesn't seem too right either..."_

My hands started to tremble, my bottom lip now in between my teeth, I didn't realise how hard I was biting down on it until a metallic taste entered my mouth.

_"Wait, I know exactly where you belong. Ambitious, cunning._

"SLYTHERIN!"

My vision blurring as the realisation hit me, I heard cheering, clapping but I didn't feel happy at all. I stood up from the stool to walk over to the Slytherin table. I met eyes with my sister who looked very confused on what just happened, I gave her a smile indicating it was okay.

I quickly noticed the guy from the train, I sat in the empty seat next to him. Finally being able to take a breath knowing that I'm not completely alone.

Ben turned around to face me, "Oh hey there again, not to be a dick but I wasn't surprised when you got sorted into here." He softly nudged my shoulder.

"Hmm is that so, sorry to break it to you but that was a dick move in the train." I respond sarcastically letting out a soft laugh. I seemed to feel calm around Ben, he was charming for sure and just gave me overall peace.

I looked ahead at the hall, it was full of students eating, chatting, laughing overall seemed like life was going well for pretty much everyone but me. I quickly took a notice to a green eyed blonde girl who sat across from me.

"You're the new girl! Hello I'm Aurora Oakley, and you are?" She seemed a very bubbly person for being in Slytherin that's for sure.

"Yes indeed I am unfortunately, my names Victoria Ainsley." I gave her a one sided smile which she took notice of.

"Well you see, me my dear friend Ben over here and Lorenzo wherever he is right now * _laughs*_ will take care of you don't worry," She looked over at the table, I think looking for this Lorenzo guy, once she noticed him she called him over with her hand.

"Hey Berkshire get your ass over here!" She shouted across the table.

Quickly a boy with light brown curls made his way over to us. He was very attractive my heart seemed to skip a beat looking at him. But I didn't believe in relationships during school it just complicates everything.

"Hey guys and hey to a very beautiful new girl." I tried to hide my slight pink cheeks by looking down at my empty plate.

While giving me a smirk he sat next to Aurora, which in all honestly I was jealous of she was stunning. Her blonde her was perfectly curled and her big green eyes filled with pure joy.

Aurora gave Lorenzo a soft slap on the shoulder. He raised his hands in surrender while laughing. 

"This is Victoria, Victoria Ainsley." Aurora introduce me to Lorenzo, he turned from Aurora towards me. Taking me by surprise he took my hand of the table and kissed it softly making my heart flutter.

"Very charming I see, are you like this with every knew girl?" I say, a playful smirk growing on my face.

"Only with the beautiful ones," He responds sending a wink.

Both Ben and Aurora burst out laughing at his cheesiness, I let one out too. Lorenzo rolls his eyes and takes a bit of the food in front of us. I do the same, Aurora and Ben following right after.

~~

"That bed over there is yours, fortunately we were blessed with a room with 2 beds, because if I needed to sleep in the same room with that bitch Pansy Parkinson..." Aurora stopped herself before saying too much.

I was intrigued by who this _Pansy_ girl was she definitely did not seem nice but I wasn't scared of a little challenge in fact it made me a little buzzed.

"So this Parkinson girl, who is she? She seems annoying." I ask while sitting at the edge of my bed.

Aurora smiled to herself realising I'm interested to know who she was.

"Okay, so basically Pansy is a stuck up whore who opens her legs for any moving thing in this school. Don't get me started how she acts around Malfoy-"

"Malfoy?" I cut her off, slightly raising my brow.

Aurora was a little surprised I've not heard of him yet. "Draco Malfoy, he wasn't at dinner today that's why you've not met him yet. He... He's the worst, he just picks random people to be a dick to. God knows why but that's the way he's wired."

"Well he can try to be a dick to me, he seems a little bitch with daddy issues." I responded, looking unbothered.

Aurora turns towards me, she starts laughing which took me by surprise. "That's funny how'd you know that?"

"The daddy issues part? Well when my dad died and my mum became a total cunt, I turned my sadness into being a bitch. So I guessed that's why he is a dick." I say. I stood up to unpack my stuff.

"Alright, well tomorrow is a busy day for you. From what I seen on your timetable you have most classes with me, so I'll show you around." She glanced at me with a smile which I returned.

We both finished unpacking our stuff and got to our beds. Aurora fell asleep pretty fast. However I... Too many thoughts were rushing through my mind to even close my eyes. As much as I am scared of this whole new year I'm also not someone who you can easily mess around with. Soon my thoughts grew further and further resulting in me drifting off to sleep.


	3. PEST

The early morning sun was now beaming through the window of the dorm. The warm sun soon hit her face causing her to squint her eyes, she soon looked over to where Aurora was sound asleep. Victoria was glad that she made some sort of a friend, being a Slytherin made her aware of the reputation she was carrying now. She knew that her only friends would most likely now only be from her house, she just had to accept it.

As much as the idea haunted her she wasn't too bothered, since she's met some very nice individuals so far. Only one left to meet was Malfoy, Aurora spoke to Victoria in lighting her that as a matter of fact Malfoy was a part of the friend group.

Slowly Victoria was making her way out of bed, their dorm was cold as the September breeze flowed around the castle, it definitely sent shivers all around her body. Now standing, she took her arms and hugged herself making her way to the bathroom grabbing her uniform of the chair in the process.

She decided to have her up in a pony with some pieces of her hair out framing her face, slipping into her uniform she added some knee high stockings for a flirty look, adjusting her tie and robe to look smart, a little bit of make up and that was all Victoria did in the mornings. The green and silver uniform complimented her pale skin and her dark brown hair very well, her necklace visible only if you came in close contact with her. Last touch was just a little spray of her expensive cherry perfume.

Exiting the bathroom she looked over to Aurora who was now awake, her messy hair falling over her shoulders. She looked over at Victoria giving her a smile following with a yawn.

"Good morning my love, I see you're awake early. I'll just go get ready and we can go head down to get the boys then grab breakfast." Aurora spoke quietly indicating she was still quite tired.

Victoria gave Aurora a soft smile while walking over to her bag to place her new books inside.

"Yeah that's fine, I'm starving to be honest with you." She turned around facing Aurora once again, the blonde girl now stood from her bed waddling over to the bathroom shutting the door behind her.

Couple minutes past, eventually Aurora came out the bathroom with her curls falling over her shoulders. A strong scent of vanilla perfume followed her.

Aurora went over to grab her back and swung it over her shoulder.

"Let's go down and find the boys," Aurora said walking over to Victoria and grabbing her wrist.

~~

**_Victoria_ **   
_2nd of September, 1995_

Both me and Aurora were making our way down the stone stairs, Hogwarts was truly a massive school without her I would get lost so easily. Finally entering the common room I noticed the boys I met yesterday well not all, a tall blonde haired figure stood with them only lightly engaging in the conversation.

Aurora quickly skipped over the the group of boys me obviously following.

"Hey boys, how's you're morning going?" She asked politely.

Some of the boys groaned at her energy since it was indeed the morning, I admired Aurora for the positivity she had within her it amazed me, I'd swore she was in Hufflepuff if I didn't know her.

Now that I was standing within the group I gave everyone a soft smile which most of them returned but the blonde boy, with those grey deep eyes he glanced at me. I assumed he must be Malfoy.

"So, who's this pest?" He finally spoke giving me a harsh glare.

My stomach twisted a little in annoyance. Who was he to speak to me like that, not even knowing who I was.

"I have a name actually." I gave him a sarcastic smile and crossed my arms.

A smirk now appearing on his face. "Oh you do? Does it look like a give a fuck."

We locked eye contact for about a second before it was cut off by Aurora, truly thankful for her.

"Right Malfoy, she's not a pest she's my friend and her names Victoria Ainsley," She glared at him then turning around to face me.

"Hey she's my friend too actually, I met her first." Ben spoke looking at Aurora.

"Wait you did?" At this point all of them had a confused expression on their faces.

Uncrossing my arms I went to fidget with my necklace.

"Yeah, back in the train a was looking for the food trolly while trying to find it I bumped into Ben." I looked up at Ben giving him a slight smile, he's a few inches taller than me giving I'm 5ft 4 and he's around 6 ft. I take that back more than few inches then.

"I still take credit for the best introduction." Lorenzo interrupted sending a wink over to me _once again._

We all laughed at Lorenzo, all but one. Malfoy was still looking at me with this cold, blank expression, I'm going to be honest it was hard to read. However as much as he seemed to be a dick I couldn't deny he was absolutely handsome.

Soon after that thought rushed through my mind, Malfoy glanced at me with a smirk. I looked at him with confusion plastered on my face. Did he just read my mind? No impossible, because if he did that's the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced.

"Right lads and pretty girls, can we go get food before Crabbe and Goyle _shove_ it all in their mouths." Ben looked over at the whole group who had the same idea and were glad someone finally said it, now all of us making our way down to the Great Hall. Malfoy didn't look at me once after that little encounter, I wasn't complaining. Barley know him and he's already getting on my nerves.

~~

"This is potions, unfortunately I'm not in it but you're in it with..." She cut herself, now looking up at me with a _'feel sorry for you'_ look plastered on her face.

Me intrigued now on who can be in my class I look at Aurora nodding my head to indicate to continue.

"Malfoy." She finally spat out.

Fuck.

Out of all people him, I know I don't have to technically sit next to him it's just that's the only person I knew. Who I wasn't even friends with so far he's called me a pest and now I need to somehow try to be civil with him.

_~Bell rings~_

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I better go in now," I place my hand on her shoulder and give her a really small smile following by pressing my lips together into a line. She put her hand on the one that's on her shoulder, she looked up at me with those huge eyes of hers and mouthed 'it'll be okay'. Quickly now letting go and disappearing into the huge corridor filled with students.

I turn to walk towards the door, entering the class I notice Professor Snape. Aurora told me to stay on his good side, oh and he's also our head of house. My eyes looking over at the desks set out in front me I noticed a couple of Slytherins that I've seen before but not particularly knew and some Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors.

"Miss Ainsley yeah?" Snape said with no emotion at all.

I turned around to face his quite intimidating figure. "Yes Proffedr." I respond.

"Okay well dont go find a seat I've prepared a seating plan for this year," He said with no emotion _again._

I had no clue if I was glad or not, it's not like there was anyone I could even want to sit next to. Looking around the class it was dark and gloomy represented Snape really well, cauldrons were on some of the desks with couple ingredients surround them. My train of thought was quickly interrupted when someone shoved me to the side.

"Move pest! Don't you know to not to stand in the middle of the class." Someone snapped.

I turn around from almost stumbling off my feet, I already knew who it was and when I met his deep grey eyes it only confirmed it.

Malfoy.

"Don't you have any human decency not to treat people like rag dolls," I scoffed.

His eyes widened a little from my response, he wasn't used to people talking back to him. A playful smirk now on his face.

"You're playing a dangerous game here Ainsley." He responded with a blank expression.

I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off by Snape telling the students about the seating plan making the whole class groan and moan.

"Be quiet! Now listen for your name and your partners." He snapped.

"Cedric Diggory and Ginny Weasley."

"Harry Potter and Pansy Parkinson."

I heard Pansy sigh from behind which in all honesty made a smirk creep onto my face.

"Draco Malfoy and Victoria Ainsley."

For fuck sake.

I walked over to a desk at the back making sure to move my seat far away from his, he's not made his way towards the desk yet I noticed he tried to change Snapes decision but it didn't work in his favour.

He finally stormed over to the desk and took a seat aggressively in the seat beside me, he didn't bother to even to look at me.

"Can't believe I'm fucking stuck with some pest that dresses like a slut." He groaned.

I was absolutely stunned by him calling me a 'slut' my skirt was definitely longer than that bitch Parkinson.

"Fuck you Mafloy, you think I want to sit here with your annoying ass." I hissed.

He finally looked at me, making his mouth come close to my ear now, how the fuck is no one seeing this?

"You know _pest,_ as much as you find me annoying I could have you down on your knees for me in seconds." He whispers, sending literal chills down my spine.

He quickly pulled away from me, going back to facing the front of the class.

"You're delusional Malfoy." I tried to be confident but my voice came out shaky from what just happened.

We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the class. The tension between us was quickly cut when the bell went, music to my ears right now. Quickly packing everything I basically ran out of that class.

Looking around to see if I could spot my blonde friend anywhere, I finally seen her walking next to Lorenzo. Quickly moving through the students to reach the duo.

"Hi beautiful, how was potions." Lorenzo asked while placing his arm over my shoulders.

Before I was even able to reply Malfoy joined into the conversation. Walking on the other side of Lorenzo, he glared at me then looked forward.

"It was awful, Snape put us in partners and I'm with well _her."_ He put his hands in his pockets and kept on walking like I didn't even hear that.

" _Her_ has a fucking name you idiot," I spat.

"When will you learn I don't give a shit, you're a pest and you're never going to be more than that."

A look of guilt appeared on his face from the last words but it quickly faded back into his cold expression.

I won't lie those words hurt deep down but I wasn't going to let him get to me. He's an ignorant dick who only cared for himself.

Aurora flung Lorenzos arm of me and put her own in it's place. Lorenzo not being very fond of Auroras actions showing that with an eye roll.

"Can yous stop for a second please, yous barely know each other and act like an old married couple." She flatly said, she didn't enjoy any negative tension.

I rolled my eyes, how could anyone ever be dumb enough to marry this guy honestly think it'd only be for the money. Yeah, he's got the looks, I've also heard he's good in bed from the girls gossip earlier in the great hall.

Victoria stop that.

I quickly cut my thoughts of his sex life to see Draco smirking. Fuck I swear he can read my mind...


	4. MINE

_~WARNING: MENTION OF SUICIDE~_

**_Victoria_ **

_1st of October, 1995_

It's been a couple of weeks since school started, I've managed to get settled with the group. I don't see Charlotte often now she's mostly busy with her work.

Most of my classes were going pretty well apart from the obvious, potions. Malfoy puts no effort in it at all, the only words he throws at me is 'pest' it's so irritating.

I'm sitting on the couch in the common room reading a book it was pretty late, Aurora was helping some first years with their homework in the library; she really does have a huge heart.

Continuing to flick through my book, I looked up to see that pretty much everyone has gone to bed now. I decided to stay a little longer.

Out of nowhere I felt someone come close to the back my of neck, their lips almost touching my ear. Goosebumps have formed all over my body now. I wanted to see who it was but something in my gut was telling me to stay still.

"Here's what's gonna happen, you're going to be a good girl for me and walk over to the bathroom." A warm voice whispered in my ear.

In that moment I knew who it was, I was absolutely stunned by his actions. What the actual fuck is going on? I froze not being able to move a single limb.

Kisses were planted onto my neck now I cannot deny it felt _so_ good, electricity raced through my bones making me lot out a soft moan. A damped feeling now in between my legs.

Everything was perfect until I heard his obnoxious laugh, my face now turning a bright red colour in utter embarrassment that I let him do this.

"You really are a fucking slut aren't you, can imagine how wet you've gotten."

I turned around to meet his grey eyes however this time they looked lost not the usually deep and stormy. They were lifeless.

"You're a fucking jerk you know that!" I snapped shoving him back.

"Touch to me again, I dare you-" He snaps, I quickly cut him off.

"What am I playing a ' _dangerous game'?_ " I replied mocking him.

The tension between us grew unbearable. Without any hesitation he put his hand onto my neck, his cold rings slightly digging into me, I let out a small whimper making him squeeze a little tighter.

"Malfoy?"

It was Ben, I've never been more glad to hear his voice in my entire life.

Malfoy let go of my neck in a flash, he stepped a few inches away from me so nothing looked suspicious.

"What is it Blackwood? He mumbled.

Ben came over to us, a little confused but he sent me a smile and I returned it. Quickly getting up from the couch now, I just couldn't be in there with him anymore. I walked over to Ben planting a soft kiss on his cheek. It was common for me to do this our friendship was just like that.

"Goodnight" I mumbled.

With a grin he replied with a soft 'goodnight'.

**_Draco_ **

Why the fuck did she just do that. Kissing fucking Blackwood, it annoyed me for some reason; she wasn't mine but it frustrated me how he thought he could touch her in _any_ way. I quickly let that thought go, I can't be feeling for anyone it only makes you weak.

Jacob was now facing towards me he had this stupid grin on his face, I just wanted to punch it right off him.

"Right Malfoy, I was just going to ask you about the up coming Quidditch game." He spoke with a little annoyance in his tone.

I knew damn well he was jealous about the fact I was alone with Ainsley and for a matter of fact it made a shit-eating grin appear on my face.

He narrowed his eyes at me "Right so I was wondering if you could put me infront next week-"

I quickly cut that motherfucker off, "Why would I do that so close to the match?" I had a rough idea it was to impress Ainsley.

"I just think that it would give us a better chance of winning to be honest with you, after all it's the Gryffindors we're going up against. No way Zabini will shoot as many goals as he did couple weeks ago with Hufflepuff." He explained.

"1 it's _my_ team Blackwood, I know what's best for _my_ team. 2 never speak like that about one of your teammates again." I growled.

Turning on my heel I stromed off to the boys dormitories.

~~

**_Vicotria_ **

The library was very quiet as students were getting ready for the game, I can't lie and say excitment wasn't growing in me. I always enjoyed watching a game of Quidditch, my father tought me and Charlotte a lot about it, in fact I can play a little bit.

"Em, Victoria..." I voice said from behind me, bit strattled I turned around to face my sister.

"Oh, hey what's up? You look worried." I asked, she really did look worried.

"Well, Aunt Bella owled me last night..." I could tell she was about to cry, tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Even though Charlotte was older I was definetly the one that took care of things.

"C'mon spit it out." I couldn't take it anymore the not knowing what's going on.

"Mum, *gulp* commited suicide." Soon after Charlotte fell onto her knees crying her heart out infront of me, I stood from my chair quickly going down to give her a tight hug. My chest slowly getting damp from her tears.

Then it hit me, my mother was _gone._ Never coming back to us, we had no one now. The walls came crashing onto me, suffocating me. My heart started racing not knowing how to comfort Charlotte now when an panic attack was coming on.

I needed to stay strong I got Charlotte and myself up from the ground, I needed to get her to her dorm.

Charlotte mumbled the password for the Ravenclaw common room, her friends quickly running over to me and her, signilling they'll take it from here. I let go of my sister I wasn't able to give the comfort she needed from me.

Turning around the tears started slipping away from my eyes, ignoring everyone who looked at me in the corridors I sprinted to the Slytherin common room. I mumbled the password barley entering it I fell to my knees. Letting out a scream, I clawed at my wrists a habit I've inherited after my father died.

Before I could continue someome ran over to me, stopping me before I drew more blood.

It was him.

"Hey, hey Ainsley look at me." He cupped my face with his hands making me look up at him.

"She's gone Draco," I spoke with a shaky voice, my robes now covered in blood from my wrists, I wanted to die right there.

Draco picked me up by the waist leading me to his dorm, we walked slowly as my energy vanished, the state I was in didn't allow me to walk.

We entered his dorm a strong sent of cologne filled my nostrils, slowly setting me on the bed he grabbed bandages from his bed side table. I looked at him with surprise but also concern.

"Fights." He mumbled.

He slowly wrapped them around my wrists a whimper left my dry lips from the pain. Then it hit me again like a bus, my emotions where all over the place, a lump forming in my throat preventing me from breathing. Starting to hyperventilate now. Draco jumped up next to me moving my chin gently to face him.

"Slow, slow. I need you to breathe, in and out." He said softly.

"I-it h-hurts." I cried out; I moved my palm to my chest feeling my heart beat like crazy.

"I know, I know. Come here let it out," He brought me to his chest, stroking my hair to try and calm me down.

I know he read my mind; I knew it how else would he know what's happening without questioning me. I slowly started to drift off until my thoughts finally turned off.

~~

I woke up in my own dorm, with Aurora next to me, he must've brought me here. I turned my head towards Aurora who now woke up. With worry in her eyes she looked at me.

"Aw Victoria, I'm so sorry." She spoke pulling me into an embrace.

Draco must've told her; I was glad because I'm not so sure I'd be able to.

"We need to go down for dinner, you've slept right through the afternoon classes."

I knew there wasn't any way of saying no to her, bit in all honestly, I wasn't going to be able to eat. My own saliva felt like sandpaper.

"Aurora, please can I just stay here for tonight," Thankfully she nodded and planted a small kiss on my forehead before heading for the door.

"I'll bring something up for you" She gave me small smile before shutting the door behind her.

As soon as I was left alone, the dark voices came back haunting my mind.

_Do it._

_End it all._

_Stop the pain._

I've not heard them since mother shut us out of her life, especially me like it was my fault father died. That's what she made me feel like... Like it was all my fault. I wanted to listen to them so badly just let go leave this horrid world behind me, never look back. But I couldn't. Charlotte would be left with no one, her world would come crashing down on her.

I wrapped myself in my blanket to try and stop the voices, it was no use they continued to say the same words repeatedly. _'Do it'_ Ialmost gave in; I was so close to just letting it win. Life didn't make any sense anymore. I was broken and this time I was unfixable.


	5. MARKED

**_~WARNING: MATURE CONTENT, SELF-HARM~_ **

**_Draco_ **

I didn't see her at dinner, worry growing now. There was no sign of her or Aurora anywhere. I was about to go check up on her when Aurora finally entered the hall, I watched her come over to our table and take a seat across from me.

"How is she?" Lorenzo asked.

Me, Blackwood and Berkshire have been friends since we were little, our families had business together, so dinners together were common. We basically grew up together; families fucked up.

"Well she didn't want to come up for dinner at all, I told her I'll bring her something up." She replied, I could tell Aurora was worried she never was good at hiding her emotions.

All 3 of us met Aurora in 1st year, obviously me being me I was a bit annoyed about the whole _'letting a girl join our group'_ but after getting to know her I can say that she is the only girl I knew and know that is a friend to me.

Well except one.

But I can't let myself do what I did today, I can't break her even more.

**_Victoria_ **

*Door bangs*

I jumped out my bed as someone banged on my door, snapping my head towards Aurora's bed she wasn't here. I had no clue what time it was until I looked at the clock, turns out I only slept for 20 minutes meaning dinner was still on.

Slowly walking up to the door, I was still absolutely drained from everything that's happened. Opening the door my brown eyes meet his stormy blue ones, he looked disappointed.

"What are you doing here Draco?" I asked softly, my voice was still a little shaken up.

My eyes travelled to his lips, they looked incredibly soft, I needed them. Anything to take my mind of everything. I'm not sure what I feel towards Draco but in this moment I didn't care.

Without hesitation I crashed my lips onto his, he was hesitant at first but then kissed me back wrapping has arms around my waist. Our kiss deepened full of hunger, lust. Draco pulled away both of our lips red and swollen.

"Victoria, you're not okay I can't-" He spoke until I cut him off.

"Please Draco, I need to forget. Please." I begged that was enough for him to continue.

His lips crashed onto mine once again, my arms wrapping around his neck deepening the kiss. He carefully picked me up by my thighs, I wrapped my legs around his bulky torso. A damp feeling in between my legs _again._ We made our way towards my bed not breaking the kiss ones, Draco put me down onto my bed the soft duvet now surrounding my aching body, aching for him. He's knee in between my legs hovering over me, his kisses travelled down to my neck nibbling and sucking on it leaving a purplish mark, he marked me.

His hands travelled down to the waistband of my shorts lightly tugging on it.

"May I?" He asked softly his lips swollen from our kiss.

I nodded.

He slid down my shorts leaving me in a top and lacy white underwear. I let out a soft gasp as his fingers travelled around the hem of them. He moved my underwear aside to find my clit, he started rubbing it in circles making me moan. His eyes never leaving mine, watching me carefully as my bottom lip found its place between my teeth.

"So wet for me, aren't you?"

"Only for you-" He slid one finger inside going at a slow speed, "Draco," I moaned. Me moaning his name turned him on even more, his speed increased loud moans escaping my lips now.

"Mulffiato." He mumbled with a grin making its way on his face.

His hand left my soaking clit, I wanted more, I needed more.

He tugged on my underwear; I lifted my hips to help him take them off. Unbuckling his belt he took off his trousers following his boxers, his hard dick sprung out. I gulped realising how big it was.

"Don't worry I'll make it fit," He said the grin continued to grow. "Now take that little top of yours off, I want to see all of you." I obeyed, propping myself up I took my top off leaving me naked in front of him.

"Fuck." He groaned; a smile appeared on my face from him praising me. "My good girl, isn't that so?"

I nodded, a rush of arousal running throughout my whole body. Slipping his shirt off his hand found its way back to my opening collecting my juices with his fingers which he then used it to lubricate his throbbing length.

"Beg." He spoke firmly. My eyes widen a bit, but I obeyed him, his tone of voice turned me on even more.

"Please Draco, make me forget." I begged.

Without any notice he smashed his length into me, not giving me a chance to adjust to his size. A loud gasp escaped my lips, a wave of pain with pleasure came across me. I could feel everything as he thrusted into me at a high speed, the knot in my stomach continued to tighten.

"You feel _so_ good," He praised, his hands now at my hips making them thrust against his. Tears forming at the corners of my eyes as the pleasure grew within me. His lips meet my shoulder biting it a little leaving a mark _again_.

I threw my hands to his back, my nails digging into him as his speed increased.

"Dra-, fuck I'm going to cum,"

"Then cum for me princess," And that's all I needed, the knot in my stomach now vanishing as pure pleasure raced through my heat. He continued to rock his hips getting me through my high.

"I'm- Fuck." He moaned as his cum filled me up inside.

Draco dropped beside me, both of us covered in sweat, breathing irregular. After a few moments of lying next to each other in silence he got up from the bed grabbing his clothes of the floor. A confused expression now on my face, did he just use me? I mean so did I to deal with my mother but still his actions tore little holes in my heart.

"Draco? Where are you going?" I asked softly, I tried to stand up but the pain in between my legs didn't allow me to. So, I wrapped a blanket around me and sat at the edge of my bed.

"Malfoy. Don't use my name first name, this- this was a mistake." He stuttered.

I didn't understand, he kissed me, marked me. How could he leave me like this, after I just lost my virginity to him?

"Draco! I'm a fucking virgin you can't just leave me like it was nothing." I screamed, a tear rolling down my cheek.

Draco turned towards me a soft look in his eyes, for a moment I thought he'd stay but it's Draco we're talking about he doesn’t do feelings. Within seconds his eyes turned back to their normal state, ice cold.

"Well you should've thought about that before you begged me to fuck you, I'll bring the vial to you tomorrow." He snapped and with that he vanished, leaving me like I was nothing. Like I was the pest he always called me.

I couldn't take it; it was too much. The pain was unbearable, I had no control over it. I needed control. With that I stood up and rushed to the bathroom. I stormed through the drawers trying to find anything sharp and there it was like treasure, a pair of silver scissors my worst enemy. I snatched them quickly from the drawer and dropped to the ground. Taking the scissors to my thigh a drew red stripes onto them, I gasped in pain as the blood prickled down my leg.

I got up from the floor barely making it up I placed the scissors back where I found them. Slowly walking back to my bed I grabbed my clothes and slid my small figure into them, I made my way back to my bed letting the duvet take me fully away from the present. I was numb.

~~

_~Few days later~_

**_Victoria_ **

I haven't left my bed in almost a week; Charlotte didn't make any appearance at my door once. The only people I seen was Ben, Lorenzo and Aurora. They tried to comfort me as much as possible, but their words flew through my mind. All 3 brought me food but I couldn’t even take a bite, to be honest I didn't try. I lost a few pounds quickly. My figure was thinning as no food was entering my system, Draco didn't come once after our fight he didn't care. While Aurora and Lorenzo thought I was sleeping couple nights ago a heard them talking about how he's fucking Astoria I was too numb to even feel hurt.

I decided to sneak out while Aurora was sleeping, I needed to breathe clean air I was going insane in here.

Pushing my blanket off me I walked over to where my shoes were. After I finished tying my laces I grabbed my wand. Quietly I opened the door looking left and right to make sure no one was in the halls, this remined me of when a met Ben in the train. When I still had happiness in me.

I walked through the dark halls wearing grey sweatpants with a dark green jumper. I made my way out the common room deciding to head over to the Astronomy Tower. The sky was clear meaning the view would be incredible.

I finally made it to the tower. Quickly realising one of the windows was wide open, I needed to feel something. I stormed to the window stepping onto the window ledge, the cold feeling like little needles against my face. The wind found it's way to my hair blowing it over my eyes, I looked up into the sky the stars were beautiful it gave me peace. Maybe if I just stepped another step this would be all over. As quickly as that thought came it disappered as someone grabbed me by the waist. My face snapped towards him

"Lorenzo?" I was suprised to see him up here at this time.

He pulled me into a tight embrace, it felt nice as my face collided with his chest. It was so comforting that a sob escaped me. My tears soaked his shirt as my crying came to being uncontorable.

"Victoria it's okay, if I wasn't here in time I don't know what I'd do." He said softly pulling me into an even tighter embrace.

"I'm so sorry Lorenzo, I-I, it's so painful. It doesn't stop." I cried out, I wrapped my arms around him tightly as I continued to cry.

**_Draco_ **

I stood on the step watching him give the only thing that brings me joy the comfort she needed. In the short time I've knowing her it made me realise how quickly someone could get attached to someone. She was pure her soul was something I didn't deserve, it drived me insane. I knew I caused her pain but it was the only way to keep her safe from what was going to happen soon.

I was the one that told Lorenzo to come up here, I read her mind when she left the common room she didn't notice I was sitting on the couch. I wans't going to follow but I needed to know if she was okay, if something happened to her I wouldn't forgive myself.

She was okay, so I left. Making my way back down the stairs. This was the only way as much as I'd love to comfort her I wasn't good enough to deserve her love or any type of love for that matter.


	6. DISAPPEARING

**_WARNING ~ MENTION OF SH_ **

**_writer's pov_ **

_3rd of October, 1995_

The days continued to go faster and faster as Victoria spent the past 2 days in her bed either crying herself to sleep or staring into the wall. She was broken and she didn't know how to fix herself, what if she was impossible to fix?

Her mother was no longer here to even provide parental care for her. She gave herself away to a guy who didn't give a shit about her or her emotional state, her friends were busy with school.

School.

School was difficult, Victoria didn't attend classes at all. It's only been several days since she was last present but the impact was big, she missed a lot of assigments; Aurora kept her informed about what's happening in classes but Victoria's mind didn't leave the night Draco left her. The red strippes on her thighs healed but quickly came back whenever a thought of him flew around her mind.

Her small figure contiued to become smaller as no food entered her body at all, her cheekbones became more visible, her collarbones sitcking out even more not only that even her ribs became visible. Her womenly curves were disappearing; she was disappearing.

Days were getting colder, her dorm getting colder. Victoria was about to make her way to the bathroom to take a warm shower to soothe her pain before there was a knock on the door, this knock was different. She's been in her dorm for a long time so she was able to memorise her friends knocks. Aurora's being light and calm, Lorenzo's was firm but light and Ben's was firm and loud, this one was almost like banging, an agressive one.

Her neck snapping do the door she swolled thickly, "Um, come in."

The door swung open his stormy eyes met her hurt brown ones. Quickly storming to the small, frightend girl.

"Why haven't you been down stairs to eat?" He groaned.

What was she supposed to tell him, he broke her even more and now he's acting like nothing happend.

"Well if I'm honest with you _Malfoy._ It's not really your business what I do with my life." She snapped, anger growing in her petite body.

"Shut the fuck up Ainsley, it's not like that! I care-" Quickly cutting himself off he looked to the ground knowing too much words were said than intended.

Her brown eyes widened, she took her fist and punched him right in the chest repeatdly.

"You. *punch* Don't. *punch* Care.*punch*" The punches became very faint quickly, tears threatened to roll down her cheeks she's cried enough over this ignorant dick.

"Calm down!" Draco grabbed her wrists to restrain her from hurting herself or possibly him.

Removing his hands of hers, she pulled on her collar revealing the hickey Draco left, tears rolling down her cheeks; holding it in was impossible at this point.

"Why would you do this huh?" She hissed, "Why the fuck would you put this on me? Then left me... Left me like a piece of d-dirt." Words became hard to form as her crying intensified.

Guilt filled those stormy blue eyes of his. His lips parted to say something but no words came out, silence occured with cries in the background.

Draco placed his covered ringed hand to Victoria's warm cheek giving a contrast between the cold metal and her warm skin, she melted a little into his touch.

"Please, just eat." With that he fled the room leaving her behind once again.

What the fuck? This was different she thought to herself. There was no way of understanding how quickly someone could fall for another, impossible you coud even state. Draco seemed to care but Victoria couldn't care less; broken she was.

~~

**_Victoria_ **

"Come eat." Ben stated taking my hand leading me out my cozy dorm. His brown eyes met mine, he looked tired, bags under his eyes, it was obvious the boy wasn't getting much sleep. I needed to find out why, what was bothering the poor boy.

Before making our way into the common room he placed a soft kiss onto my head. Small smile overtaking my dry lips.

Aurora was sitting next to Berkshire on the leather couches while Draco was sitting on the chair beside them. Walking over to them was scary they knew I was in a horrible state, they told me my sister seemed to be okay I'm glad she's pushing through. But how? The excruciating pain flowing through my limbs left me so tired on a daily basis how was she doing _okay_?

"There she is," Lorenzo beamed making the rest turn towards me, the blonde girl switly got onto her feet running over to me pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Oh how I missed your little face." Soft giggles leaving her plump lips.

My head turned towards the boy on the chair, his jaw tightened at the view of my thin figure. I gave him a weak smile so that the group wouldn't take any notice of the tension.

"Looks like someone decided to eat, you look awful Ainsley," He critized, my lips parted in shock. His words fucking hurt.

Ben glared at Draco, his hands now in fists, he stormed over to him.

"What's your fucking problem Malfoy? She's going through so much can't you get that into that little brain of yours!" His hands flew to Dracos collar.

"You're making a huge mistake,"

Draco's fist collided with Ben's jaw making him stumble back, the rest of us standing in shock. Without thinking Ben threw back a punch creating a cut on Dracos bottom lip.

Out of nowhere I felt the courage to stop the two boys I cared about before it gets serious.

"Please stop!" I screamed none of the boys even glanced towards me, irritation growing within me I might be weak and hurt but I will not tolerate being ignored. Without thinking my weak hands flew in between the boys disagreement. Heart racing not knowing if I was about to be pushed back or be able to break apart the fight.

My eyes rested on Draco's face; jaw tightened, nostrils flared then my vision travelled onto Ben; brows furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line.

Dracos eyes snapped towards me, " Fucking move Ainsley!" He shouted lightly pushing me away but that light push was enough to make me stumble, I collided with the hard floor of the common room, tears prickled done my cheeks as pain flushed around my back.

"Fuck, Victoria." He immediatly fell onto the floor beside.

That was the first time he's ever spoken my first name, it gave me a warm feeling in my chest something I haven't had the chance to feel since my father passed.

His large hands gripped around my soft small ones, helping me up. I got to my feet looking around the group everyone was in a bit of distress, everything happened so fast. Looking back to him his features softened as he met my eyes, he looked sorry and in that moment as much as I hated myself for it I wasn't even remotely angry at him.

"I'm sorry, I- I always manage to get myself involved," I stuttered.

Ben stepped forward towards the both of us, looking me up and down he looked upset guilty for what occured.

"Let's go get food, please?" He muttered, looking deeply into my eyes.

I stepped away from Draco to walk towards the boy before I could get away he grabbed my wrist.

"Apparate."

My stomach twisted in the sudden feeling of the spell gliding around my soft skin. As my feet touched the ground beneath me again I looked around to see he took us to Hogsmead. Confusion plastered on my face I turned to look up at him.

"The fuck? Why are we here?" I questioned crossing my eyebrows.

He hugged me, yes fucking hugged me... At this point I gave up on questioning him. His bipolar self confused the fuck out of me but his touch made my heart skip a beat.

"Consider this as an apology, a breakfast." He whispped in my ear following a little 'come' obeying I followed him towards a cafe I've not seen before. My gaze fell onto the eye catching banister above the door, 'Lottie's treats'. Awful name in my opinion.

We entered the cafe a warm welcoming feeling hovered around me.

Breakfast? With Draco? Interesting.

**_writer's note_ **

_Hi loves! Only a short chapter today, I've got lots of school work lately but I'm planning to work on a long one for yous over the weekend! I've got big plans for this. Smut will come along soon so don't worry Draco isn't as soft as he seems right now ;) Remeber to comment and vote! <3_


	7. EXPOSURE

**_writer's note_ **

_I wanted to say a huge thank you to @romanshome for taking the time to read some of my chapters her books are absolutley amazing, I'm incredibly greatful for all the readers who decide to click on my book._

_Thank you so much! <3_

_____________________________

_"You don't have to marry me then if you don't want to"_

_-Draco_

**_Victoria_ **

My vision wondered all over the little, cozy cafe infront of me. The cafe was filled with warm tones such as browns and creams. The tables had light yellow decorations on them making the whole room give of a cottage like feeling. As I was standing next to Draco a lovely looking young women came towards us.

"Bonjour!" She beamed with a high pitched tone.

French? Since when was there a french cafe in Hogmead, I've been in every single cafe, shop, everything you can think of.

"Hello, table for 2," Draco replied with a firm tone.

The young girl nodded as she lead as to a more quiet spot of the cafe towards the back, I was about to take seat when all of a sudden a felt his precense behind me before I could question he pulled the seat out from under the table.

"Sit." He demanded. I listened. He then porceeded to sit across from me.

"Thank you," I mumbled. 

"What would yous two like?" The girl asked with a slight french accent.

My stomach quickly tightened, I forgot that I could barely take a sip of water these past few days however I couldn't be rude, he brought me here and for that I was thankful.

"Um..." I trailed off scanning through the menu infront of me. "I'd just like a croissant with orange juice,"

"And you Sir?" From her body language it was obvious she felt attraction towards the handsome man infront of me.

"I'd just like a cup of coffee, no surgar or milk." He spoke.

The girl quickly fled the scene after scribbling a few things on her notepad, my gaze fell onto the window next to me then to my lap. Fidling with my necklace I felt embarassesment wash over me, I looked absolutley horrifying my figure was thinning and it's just been a couple of days. Breathing was becoming harder as thoughts raced through my mind.

Not now.

Not now.

Not now.

I told myself over and over again. Not now, not here. I felt his eyes fall onto my glistened ones.

"Calm down, we're in public."

Wow, is that all? His words felt like a slap right across my cheek.

"Fuck you Draco!" I snapped.

I was about to just get up and leave the embarassing scene as I felt heads turn towrads us but his palm gripped my wrist.

"Look- Fuck, I'm sorry... I'm not used to this. I don't even know what this is," His voice sounded choked up, I realised the words leaving his mouth weren't easy to say. So I stayed settling back into my seat. My features softened a little as his words settled into my mind.

"I'm not soft so don't expect me to be but I'll try okay? I just want you close, this feeling... I want it to stay with me."

I gasped. Did he just expose me to his true feelings? I couldn't admit but I felt the same, I wasn't sure what these feelings were but it was the only thing that I felt right now. And if it disappeared I might just be so lost to the point of forgetting what emotions felt like.

"Draco, this is alot." I muttered. His grip softened yet it didn't leave my hand.

"I-" He was cut off with the food being sat on the table between us, my eyes swept along the buttery croissant, if I was still me from a couple days ago I'd eat it with a huge appetite but now all I felt is nausea come across me. My eyes flew to the cold orange juice infront of me, I picked it up with my small hand. Taking a sip. The cold liquid slid down my throat with ease cooling down the weird burning senstion.

"Ainsley, I know we've only known eachother for a couple weeks. But it's like I'm drone to you, if I don't speak to you..." Draco trailed off, he picked his cup of coffee before drinking it he continued, "I don't know what it is but if you don't speak to me something will happen."

**_Draco_ **

_~summer before school~_

_I was sitting in my basement with Lorenzo and Ben when suddenly my mark on my arm started to sting making thoughts flying into my mind, it was just a few days since... Since that. This feeling swirled my mind, I couldn't quite grasp it. I just knew something big was coming this year or someone. It was like a warning or even a task. Something was coming and the Dark Lord was aware of it._

_I shook that thought out of my mind, leaning towards the table to grab my glass of firewhiskey, I brought it high up in the air, "To a new school year," I beamed._

_"To a new year!" Ben and Lorenzo said together._

**_Victoria_ **

_~present~_

"Draco you're scaring me," I gulped. His eyes snapped to me, his stare was really intimidating like I wasn't able to escape it.

"You know what? Forget it, this was fucking stupid. Go fuck Blackwood or something." He scoffed his gaze leaving me.

"Can you for a moment stop being so indecisive?"

I had enough, one moment he was telling me about some weird shit about me needing to keep close and then he hits out with that, enough was enough. I rose from my seat and stormed out of that stupid place. Fuck him.

"Apparate."

Within seconds I was back in my dorm, I kicked off my shoes turning towards my bed to just go to sleep and forget about this shit. It made no sense at all, he was talking to me as if something will happen. It already fucking has my mother is dead.

Realision hit me, I was able to forget for the few moments I was with him it made me forget.

Shut up he's vile.

I need to go back to my classes tomorrow or I might just start failing. There's going to be work to catch up on however I'm not sure if I'm ready for it all.

The dorm swings open letting a drunk blonde girl in.

"Oh my god! I've just had so much firewhiskey Victoria."

Her hair was a mess, lipstick smuthered over her cheek.

"Aurora? What's happened?" I questioned.

"Basically, after you fucked off with Malfoy Ben went to get something, turns out it was alcohol. Fuck knows why since it's literally early in the morning, but who cares right?" Aurora was having a hard time to keep her balance, few times even losing it.

I hurried off my bed slipping my shoes back on I grabbed her wrist and stormed back down to the common room. I was going quickly but ended up needing to slow down for Aurora. Our footsteps echoed the hall as we made our way down the stairs, finally we made it down.

My eyes swiping up and down the common room looking for the 2 boys, once I noticed them it turned out instead of 2 I found 3, "Ben why are yous drinking so early?"

His sight snapped to me, "Well you see _whore_..." He brought the bottle close to his face examining it slowly. "When you left to fuck Malfoy, I asked Blaise, Lorenzo and Aurora to have a little fun you know,"

I was disturbed by his words, my face clearly showing it.

"You don't mean that." I murmered.

"Oh but I do, for the past month of knowing you I tried everything to get you to see me more than a friend but all you did was go to fucking class and stare at Malfoy," He ranted.

It was true well partially, my first month went really well I became very close friends with the group for only knowing them for a month. I'll admit that I was noticing Malfoy more and more but I had no idea that Ben had any feelings towards me.

Everyone were totally shocked by his confession, we all stayed in silence until the blonde boy came over to us.

"She can stare all she wants, she's a fucking pest, wouldn't waste my time on her." He scoffed.

Ouch.

"Well fuck the both of you, I never asked for any attention from the both of you..." I trailed off my sight falling back onto my only friend right now, "You coming?" I asked walking over to the stairs. She was a little confused but she nodded and followed me.

~~

**_writer's pov_ **

Today was the day that Victoria decided to go back, back to normality. If that was even possible. She needed to go back to her classes to pass this year, she wanted to make it as normal as possible obviously she was still grieving over her mother but no amount of it will bring her back. Going back was something that took her mind of her mother and the, well... The 2 boys.

Ben is charming and a great person in general, she realised that over a short time, Draco is toxic, pushy. Too much for her mind to wrap around. Right now her main focus needed to be school. Just the right person can help her with that. Charlotte and her Ravenclaw abilities.

"Hey, you've decided to come back?" The taller girl beamed.

"Yeah, I was missing lots of classes," The brown haired girl responded.

Both standing in the corridor minutes before their first class of the day started, Victoria had Astronomy while Charlotte had Potions.

"So will you help me catch up?" Victoria asked quietly a little embarrased for needing to ask for help, she hated it.

"Obviously." She giggled, with that the school bell rang sending students to their classes.

Victoria sped through the maze of students trying not to be late. Finally after turning a few corners she made it to her classroom.

"Morning Victoria," Professor said a small smile meeting her edges.

Giving her a soft smile back she rushed to sit at hers and Aurora's table near the back of the class. Couple moments have passed and there was still no sign of the of her bestfriend anywhere.

Out of no where she finally made her way into the class, looking a little red and flushed like she just heard the biggest news of her life, the girl basically jogged over to the other very confused one. Slapping her hands against their desk Aurora tried to catch her breath. The tension began to grow from the not knowing.

"You won't fucking believe what happened," She finally spat out.

_Any suggestions / discussion_


	8. HER

**_~couple days ago~_ **

_"I'm sorry my Lord, she wasn't giving any answers anyways. There was no need of keeping her alive." The man spoke quietly, frightened he'd anger his Lord_.

_"You fool! We needed to find out the truth!" The man yelled._

_"If her 'father' wasn't lying, we need her."_

**_Victoria_ **

Aurora sat herself next to me still panting.

"What?" I questioned rising my brow.

"Let's just say this, you know Snape right? He fled the school after he was found working with the Dark Lord," She whispered.

My lips slightly parted as shock over threw me. He was back?

"We should've listened to Potter when he said he was back." She continued.

Well what a great start to my first 'normal' day... I expected anything but this, now thinking about it more I was just confused on why Snape was working with the Dark Lord. It didn't make any sense especially since he works for fucking Dumbledore.

"Earth to Vicky." My eyes focused back on Aurora.

"Oh, yeah sorry,"

"Right, Lorenzo asked me to go with him to the Yule Ball but like, I don't know..."

Oh yeah the Yule Ball, I've completely forgotten about it too much has been happening for me to find time to think about the dress or even if I was going to _attend_.

"Well, I think you should say yes he's a great guy," I smiled while putting the little messy pot of ink in the middle of our the table.

"Also..." I looked at the front of the class to see basically everyone chatting and not doing what they were supposed to do, which was fine by me I had no energy to start this stupid project.

"Also?" I questioned.

"It's Winter break soon, and we're all going to the Malfoy Manor and that includes you. No I didn't make them agree it was their idea actually." She gave me a lop-sided smile.

The urge to refuse was big but there was no where else to go. Charlotte was planning on spending it with Luna Lovegood. There was no way I was going to spend it with Aunt Bella she's old and stinks not to mention her name reminds of Bellatrix. That skank killed my-

"Almost forgot, we're going dress shopping by the way," I was taken by a bit of suprise by Aurora's cheery voice, giving her a little nod the both of us finally started to work on our assigntment.

"Right so why don't I write the first 2 starting paragraphs then together we do the middle section and then you do the last 2?" I suggested, Aurora nodded and dipped her quill into the little pot while I looked through the textbook to collect some information.

~~

"Right so we're all going home for christmas then coming back to the manor?" Ben asked with food in his mouth, he's yet still to apologise to me for calling me a whore.

"Yup, that's the plan," His hand ran through his blonde soft looking hair. Memorising.

Stop it.

Shit, wait. Where am I supposed to go during Christmas? Charlotte is not coming home at all. Fuck. I'll figure something out I could probably just go back to Hogwarts, yeah that's alright.

I picked up some of the food of my plate with my fork and placed it into my mouth. Chewing it slowly I glanced back up to pretty much the whole group looking at me.

"What?" I mumbled.

"We asked you the same question around 4 times Ainsley." Ben grumbled.

My thoughs can become very deep at times it's like the whole room goes silent, it happend often my family didn't really have the same problem as me.

"Oh sorry, what was the question?"

Aurora placed her head onto my shoulder slightly snuggling into me, "Where you going for Christmas?"

"Oh, I'm going to go back to my Aunts," I lied, I hated lying but what can I say the embarrassment was stronger and won.

"Uh, sorry about the common room shit, I was drunk." Ben blurted out.

I gave him a soft smile, I just wanted things to be the same, for the short time I've knowing them they're all I have now. "It's alright," I promised.

I noticed Malfoy had a grin plastered onto his soft lips, my thoughts weren't safe around him and I was certain about it.

Silence.

It cotinued until Aurora sat up straight redirecting her eyes towards Lorenzo.

"Yes," I was confused until I realised she accepted his offer to them going together.

Lorenzo now had the widest smile on his face, it made me feel nothing but pure joy and for a moment I felt happy for a couple of seconds it was peaceful.

I didn't even notice Pansy who was clearly listening into our conversation.

"Draco?" Pansy twirled a strand of her hair around her small finger waiting for Dracos attention.

"The fuck you want Parkinson?" He groaned.

"Well, I was just wondering if you've asked anyone to the Yule Ball," Her pupils dilated as Malfoy gave her a wink but soon enough they dropped as the next words left him mouth leaving me in shock.

"Yes actually, Ainsley over here," He replied, "Since whe-" He quickly cut me off by kicking my leg under the table. No one really paid attention to us right now as the group spoke about the up coming winter break.

With a huff she turned back around to face her group of friends that consisted of Daphne and Astoria both very pretty.

"Don't worry I was only trying to get her off my back, I'm not even going," He explained, in a way I kind of wished he did actually ask me. Fuck where is this coming from? I seriously don't understand.

"Quidditch game tomorrow," Ben rubbed his hands together while smiling at us.

Aurora hooked her arm around mine, "Yup, me and Vicotria will be rooting for yous," She giggled.

"Hopefully we win so you can experience your first Slytherin after party," Lorenzo added on his eyes set on mine. Soft giggles escaped my plum lips as the stories I heard swiped across my mind.

~~

"I'll see you soon!" I beamed waving at Aurora who was now rushing through the sworm of students.

I entered my Potions class, I looked over to Snapes old desk. It still didn't make any sense of why he'd do such thing. The puzzle pieces didn't fit. My eyes travelled to my desk taking notice of the blonde boy already sitting at it.

Slow footsteps took me too my desk. I settled into my seat moments later taking my textbook out and placing it in front of me. I was lost in the thought of who was going to be our teacher that I didn't realise one already walked in. It was a substitute I've not seen before.

Malfoy nudged my shoulder making me visibly jump, "Are you not going to start the questions?" He smirked.

"Why don't you start them then?" I asked. I was about to open my textbook however I realised I didn't listen to what the page number was.

"Page 246," Draco continued to smirk.

"Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?" A little panicked look appearing on his face.

"Reading my mind." I stated. Laughing filled my ears making me snap my head towrads him.

"What the fuck is so funny?"

"You think I'd want to go into that little messed up mind of yours, bet all you think about is cut-" I quickly cut him off by stabbing a knife for the ingredients into the table between his 2 fingers.

"Psycho." He scoffed.

Without uttering a word I gave him a sarcastic smile before returning to my questions.

The rest of the period went smooth, of course Malfoy didn't do anything apart from speaking to Astoria who sat behind us next to Goyle, I didn't mind at least I didn't have to listen to his memori-, _annoying_ voice.

"Okay class, a new teacher should be here for the next time you all have this class. Class dismissed." The teachers voice was loud and firm.

I packed my stuff and was about to head out before Malfoy stopped me in my tracks. Fuck sake why?

"I'm heading to the library later around 6 p.m we've got a project to do, you weren't here for it. If you want to be some sort of use feel free to join me later," Without giving me any time to reply he fled.

In all honesty I didn't want to go but I also couldn't fail class, though I already have _many_ study sessions with Charlotte.

Fuck just go.

"Are you coming?" A voice spoke from the door, squinting my eyes a little to see who it is, it was Ben.

"Oh yeah, coming." My feet took me to a spot next to Ben, we slowly made our way to our common room.

"Heard you and Aurora are going dress shopping, mind if me and the boys join?" He smirked.

"Gross!" I lightly slapped his shoulder.

There it was again.

Peace.

_Any suggestions / discussion_


	9. LIBRARY

_I was listening to 'young the giant - mind over matter (slowed + reverb)' while writing this chapter. Highly recommend it :)_

**_Victoria_ **

"Hey guys!" Blaise beamed from the leather couch in the common room. "You won't guess who brought us muggle herbs." My eyes darted to the rest of the friend group who were clearly high.

"Who?" Ben questioned rushing over to Lorenzo to take a hit.

"Fucking Longbottom," Blaise's laugh filled the common room.

"Your joking?" Ben was evidently shocked at his statement, I slowly walked over to the group noticing that the only person who wasn't here is Malfoy. Strange. Wait.

"What time is it?" I interrupted.

"Like half 6, why?" Aurora asked. Quickly turning around on my heel I started walking towards the painting.

"Nothing, nothing! I'll see yous later!" I raised my voice, waving back at the group of affected by the joint teens.

My footsteps were echoing through the halls as I made my way down to the library, I almost forgot about the project.

The halls of the castle were empty not a single soul to be seen, the breezy air filled my lungs as I increased my speed a little bit. Turning a few corners I eventually made it to the entrance of the room filled with books and knowledge.

The warm air welcomed me. My eyes darting around the room to see some Ravenclaws and Gryffindors sitting around chatting. Where can he be? Hmm... Back. Walking over to a more of a quiet place of the library I found the boy I was looking for.

"So you decided to be some use?" He observed me as I took a seat across from him, some books were scattered around the table. The parchment paper still empty of words.

"Well, I can't really just leave you with it. After all it is a partner project." I joked, he didn't really pick it up. His face stayed emotionless like he was too afraid to show any or he genuinly just hated my guts.

A book in particular caught my gaze, it was a muggle book. One my mother used to read to us before my father died. I miss her a lot. I picked up the book with my fragile fingers, gliding them across the hard blue cover. It was leather and smooth. Beautiful. You can never go wrong with a brilliant book your imagination is just free to do whatever.

"Are you going to help? Or are you going to stare at that?" Draco blurted out with an raised brow. His eyes almost matched the cover of the book, oh his eyes were everything.

"Sorry, I just- Why do you have this?"

"Well it's an interesting book, my father once brought it back from a meeting. It was completely wrecked." His gaze fell from the book back to the one infront of him.

Weird. This book has been gone from my house since my father died.

"May I ask when?"

"Sometime when I was 7, so like 1986." He planted some words onto the parchment.

Wait? Year of my fathers death. Such a weird coincidence.

**_Draco_ **

_Wait? Year of my fathers death. Such a weird coincidance._

Odd. It was indeed odd Ainsley. I know it's wrong to snoop around in her mind like that but I just couldn't help it. A lot of the times when I said hurtful words towards her I checked immediately to see the damage I had inflected. Yes I know it's fucking messed up but that's all I can do.

Her curlers lightly fell over her thin shoulders as I watched her flipping through the pages of the bright blue book, she looked good maybe even beautiful. There was no question about it, the attraction was definitely there but it's a trap that I'm not letting myself fall into.

Love is a trap.

"Can you fucking do something now?" I scoffed.

_Ouch._

I'm sorry, even thought you can't hear it. I am sorry.

"Um yeah, what would you like me to do?" Her soft voice filled my ears, so peaceful. But I wasn't dumb enough to not hear the hurt.

Only if you knew.

**_Victoria_ **

Swear Draco is more lost in his thoughts than me right now. Brining my hand close to his face I gave him a little wave.

"Fuck off." His hand smacked mine pushing it away.

"All I need you to do is write the conclusion I'll do the rest."

I don't think he realises that he didn't tell me what the topic is. Should I ask? What if he-

Do it.

"Um Draco?" My voice came out a little shaky.

"Malfoy. And what it is?" He spoke with a firm tone not even bothering to look at me.

"You haven't told me the topic," Crossing my arms I kept my gaze on him as his jaw lightly tightened. He's going to blow I'm sure of it, however then his jaw grew softer now maybe he wasn't then.

"Amortentia."

Shock fled upon me, never have I thought this would be the potion he'd choose. But I wasn't going to question it, if he loses his temper on me then I don't know if I can just sit here and listen to it. I had enough.

So I didn't. I picked up the parchment paper and his notes on the beginning of the assignment, putting them together, the quill went into motion. Words appeared onto the paper. I didn't dare to utter a word I was scared of him snapping. Fear. I didn't want it to be like that but it was and nothing will change it.

Ever.

20 minutes and I was finished. It wasn't hard since he basically did all the work for me. He was incredibly hard working and smart I wish he realised it himself maybe he'd be different.

My hand picked up the work placing it infront of the focused boy. I scooted out my chair taking my bag and swinging over my shoulder.

"Stay." His voice came out quiet but I heard it. Oh boy I heard it.

"Excuse me?"

His eyes finally met mine. He studied me carefully, all my features, emotions. Everything that was on my face in that moment he studied carefully.

"I said stay." So I obeyed. I sat back down, not sure what I was supposed to do at this point. Malfoy went back to writing the first few paragraphs.

The book.

I picked it back up, opening it the words hit my vision. I'm pretty sure I've memorised pretty much the whole book. My mum really did read it to us often. So I started reading and Malfoy wrote. Both acts so similar but different.

"Read it to me." He muttered under his breath, I was confused this- this was odd. "I enjoy hearing your voice."

My heart fluttered a little, it was nice to hear him say something pleasant towards me.

"Okay," I breathed out.

So I started reading the first sentence, then the second and without even realising it I was already on the 3rd chapter. Malfoy was now finishing off his last sentence as he listened to me.

The moment we shared together was soothing. But as quickly as it came it ended.

"I'm finished, we should head back now," Draco blurted out.

Shutting the book I stood up from the seat, the book returned to Draco hands meanwhile I was doing that my small fingers lightly glided against his warm hand. Everything went in slow motion for a second, his touch against mine sparked many emotions within my heart. Perhaps I did feel something for him. Or perhaps it was just the moment.

~~

**_Draco_ **

Everyone was downstairs sharing the joints, it's been couple minutes since me and Ainsley got back. She's down there, I told them I was going to be back but can I face her again? This is mad, this feeling I hate it. I have to be a dick to her this life, I can't have her be apart of it.

Ever.

This feeling, even if it's small she is still the first person to ever make me feel. I can't rip the only person that's ever made my heart a little happier apart.

Today when she read that book to me it was so calming I finished the assignment quickly, too quickly I just wanted to hear her voice for a little longer.

I found myself pacing up and down the room perncasinating if I should go back down or not.

Fuck it.

I stormed towards my door shutting it behind me, the corridor had around 2 students in it not suprised since it was late _and_ it was a Thursday night. Now thinking about it should the girls be smoking right now. It made me smirk to myself the thought of them being grumpy and hungover tomorrow. Take that back. It will be fucking annoying.

Within a few minutes I ended up in the common room which was filled with laughter and the strong smell of the joint. My friends all sitting on the couches looking happy for once.

"Malfoy!" Enzo patted the seat next to him, I walked over to sit where he indicated. I was sandwiched between Enzo and Vicky.

"Here mate," Ben passed the joint, the smoke filled my lungs. The taste of leaves lingered around my tongue then I found myself taking another one and another the cycle continued until the joint finished. I was definitly high now everything around me was bright and colourful, the world around me had so much intensity in it.

"Do you remember _*laugh*_ when Enzo fell over the * _laugh_ * table in the manor," Aurora was having a hard time forming a sentence as her laughs continued. Can't lie their laughes intoxicated me aswell no doubt about it.

"And that time Ainsley * _laugh_ * slipped down the steps," Ben continued, I felt her move to slap Ben on his shoulder. She quickly came back her knee gliding against mine, not sure if she even realised but I for sure did. She was really affected by the drug she was as intoxicated by it as I was by her. Without even knowing it she was the only one I paid attention to.

Beautiful.

Let me just do it one more ti-

"Let's play spin the bottle!" Her sweet voice spoke.

"Boring! 7 minutes in heaven," Enzo winked at the group.

Everyone agreed, the first one to spin was Ainsley. She leaned over to the table in the middle of us. Her hand held the bottle tightly until she lightly spinned it around. The bottle spun and spun eventually it landed on... Me.

Fuck.

"Right go on!" Enzo pushed me off the couch Vicky following me as the both of us walked over to the bathroom.

I swung the door open letting her in, me right behind her, now the both of us alone. Silence. That's the only word to describe it, we didn't speak just looked around the bathroom. She looked nervous I could tell by her playing with the necklace around her beautiful neck. I noticed she did it a lot around me.

She moved closer to me my jaw tightened as the angelic girl walked towards me.

"We obviously don't have to do anything but let's have a chat atleast," She smiled, oh that smile of hers.

"Sure."

She came even closer, her finger found it's place on my chest slowly drawing little pictures on it. "How come you hate me so much?" She asked, my heart ached for her. Everything in me just wanted to mark those sweet lips of hers.

"Vicky, I don't hate you," I responded my voice came out surprisingly soft.

"Then why-" She was cut off by tripping over and fully falling into me, my arms wrapped around her small waist. Her fragile body was now in my possession. Our eyes falling more for eachother by the second.

"Draco?" She was high. Was I going to make the same mistake?

"Fuck it."

_Suggestions / discussion_


	10. SNOW

**_Draco_ **

I finally got it. I got a taste of those plump lips she owned. Our lips connected as my hands travelled all around her body which was still in my possession. They went from her waist to her lower back to upper back. Everywhere. The feel of her in my arms was a gods gift. Our tongues swirlled in rhythm. I wanted this. She wanted this.

It wasn't supposed to be but who gives a fuck?

Her hands gripped my shoulders, my hunger grew for her as her warm body was pressed tightly against mine. My hands found themselves at the buttons of her school shirt, one by one I started to undo them.

"Right it's been like 10 minutes!" A voice shouted from the common room making me and Victoria flinch ending the moment. We stood there, lips swollen and red. Her head fell onto my chest, she took me by suprise but I didn't move.

"Draco, I-" She fixed her shirt slowly. She was breathing harshly onto my chest.

"Shhh, just go back to the group," I brushed my fingers through her smooth hair the scent of cherries filled my notrils.

She nodded and left, now alone the pit of anger grew in my stomach. I stormed over to the sink, why can't I just fucking stay away from her. Anger travelled right through my arm making me take it out on my own reflection in front of me.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

You fucking git. All my life father taught me love was useless, feelings were useless. I need to forget. But she brings that warm feeling in me that I've needed for long.

"Draco you coming? The girls left!" I heard Blaise call, she left it's okay now.

My knuckles slightly bruised, I left a crack but it wasn't the first time that's happened. My feet took me back to my original spot which was more empty now that she was gone.

~~

**_Victoria_ **

Me and Aurora were stumbling up the stairs trying to get to our dorm somewhat alive. It was late very fucking late. Tripping a couple of times we finally made it up.

Pushing the door open the both of us almost collapsed, we felt drunk but no alcohol was cosumed. Actually I'm not so sure anymore. I lead Aurora to her bed, without any motivation to do that with myself I just plopped myself right next to her. Head dizzy, confused.

His lips. The way they felt against mine was incredible, never felt such things that I felt with him. He made me feel alive as much as I loathed him, he made me feel. His toxicity, it makes me want him. But I can't have him. He doesn't want me I'll never be enough for him.

I'm too broken to feel love.

~~

"Right ladies get up!" The door swung open causing groans to leave mine and Aurora's lips. The fuck where they doing here so early.

"It's too early for this," I mumbled against Aurora's shoulder, our bodies intertwined. God knows how we slept together on this small bed.

"Actually, it's 1 p.m."

My head jolted up, My eyes focused on the 3 boys standing in our dorm. I knew I looked a mess a big one in fact. Aurora was still half asleep but managed to climb out of bed towards the bathroom.

Ben rubbed his hands together, "If you didn't notice Hogwarts has been covered in snow," The rest of the boys giggled. I knew what was coming.

"So, we're going out since we all missed school." Ben said walking over to me.

I felt the space next to me get heavy as Ben placed his soft lips against my forehead. His scent filled my nose, comforting. He exactly knew how to comfort me. The 2 other boys sat on my bed.

"Aww, look who's hungover,"

My weak hand slapped his chest not even hurting him in the slightest, I removed myself from his hold by walking over to the bathroom, "Fine, let me and Aurora get ready,"

"You're kidding? I don't want to go out there," Aurora moaned from the shower, I wiped the steam of the mirror, she took the hottest showers I swear. Pulling some black jeans on with one of Ben's Quidditch hoodies I brought my hair up putting it in a loose bun.

"It'll be okay, they're children you know that."

"True," Our laughs was definitely heard outside, "I'll get dressed and we can go."

I exited the bathroom, the mix of all 3 different colognes hit me. It was strong, I could even slightly taste it.

"Is blondie going to move her ass!" Ben groaned, I was positive that she heard it.

"Shut up asshole!" Yup, she definitly did. I walked over to put my trainers on since I didn't really own any winter shoes. I know it's dumb.

"Here Ainsley," My eyes fell onto Malfoy who had that blue book from yesterday.

"I don't read it much anyways." He handed me the book, his expression was cold I'm not sure what even happened between us yesterday but it must've been something. It's all a blur.

"Oh, thank you." A smile crept onto my lips.

I placed the book on one of my shelves filled with many different books I've read. I love books. I'd gladly right one myself one time however I don't think I'm capable of it.

"I'm ready." Aurora sang, signing was something she enjoyed. And for sure was good at.

"You look pretty as always," Enzo praised her, the girls cheeks turned rosy pink. He stepped towards her pulling her into a tight hug. The rest of us pulling disgusted faces. In all honesty I love them together I always knew it was going to be more than friends.

Who knew after such a short time you'd make such close friends, they're all I have. My family was non-existent. My mother has only been gone for like what 2 weeks maybe. For privacy we didn't hold a proper funureal, well we did but I didn't attend. I couldn't how was I supposed to. She blamed me for everything that happened with father but why? Something was missing and it was up to me to figure it out.

"Right let's go," Ben chuckled.

~~

"My ankles are freezing!" The snow was deep, it covered everything. Snow balls were being thrown from different directions not all coming from our group. A big chunk of students were out.

"Should've wore better shoes!"

"Fuck up Malfoy! It wasn't my idea to be out here!" Within a second of saying that I got hit right in the face, the cold felt like needles prickling my warm face. This fucking idiot swear I'll kill him one day. Without thinking a picked up some of the snow forming it in a perfect ball my hand swung back, with as much force as I had I hit him right in the back of the neck.

His eyes snapped towards me, ice blue filled with rage. He started walking over to me the air felt dense as the tension grew. He's going to kill me.

His hand gripped my wrist tightly almost painful, pulling me close. "Next time you fucking hit me with anything I'll make sure you don't walk for a week."

My face paled as his words circled my mind, his grip still on me. My eyes slightly watering as pain swirled from my wrist up my arm. "Also if you let anyone and I mean _anyone_ touch you I'll fucking kill them." He scoffed, finally he let go and left me standing there like a fucking idiot. I honestly felt like one. His signals were mixed once he hated me the next he's threaning to kill people.

"Who wants to get drinks?" Ben grinned, everyone walked forward to make our way down to Hogsmead.

My arm interwinded with Aurora's as we walked down, the boys behind us chatting about tomorrows game. I was excited I've yet to see a game.

"So, Malfoy." Aurora whispered, I nugded her slightly.

"Don't even start,"

A smile took over her lips as her greens eyes sparkled in the sun, oh she was beautiful.

"So who's your date for the Yule Ball?"

"I think I'm going to tag along with Ben,"

Few giggles were let out, Ben jogged up to stand inline with the both of us.

"You, me. Yule Ball?" He implied, before I was able to respond Malfoy ended up right behind me.

"She's already got a date Blackwood so piss off." He smirked. I crossed my brows my eyes met his. It was annoying, he doesn't own me.

Ben went back to Enzo, Aurora following leaving me and Malfoy alone _again_.

"So who's my _date_ then?" I crossed my arms awaiting his response.

"Fuck knows, you think I'd go with you?" His words hurt me deep down it tore my heart a little more. He let out an sarcastic laugh his eyes darting around my body, "You can't go with anybody, that shouldn't be a problem though, nobody wants to actually go with you they just pitty you. Pathetic."

~~

And those were the last words he spoke to me today. 'Pathetic'. Maybe it was true, maybe I really was pathetic for thinking someone would actually like me.

Let's face it. My body lost it's curves, it was covered in battle scars. And then you have girls like Astoria. She was breathtaking. Smooth hair, smooth skin and her body was just perfect.

I slid the book out of my shelf, there was nothing to do. After that conversation I didn't go to Hogsmead I told the rest I felt sick, in all honesty I did. I felt sick about the way I felt and looked.

I turned to the first page once again and in really faint writing which I didn't notice before said;

'T.R + E.A'

Those last 2 letter are my mums initials 'Elizabeth Ainsley' but who's T.R?

Fuck, stupid headaches.

**_Draco_ **

"Can you fucking get off me Parkinson."

"But I though you wanted to-"

"Get out you pathetic slut!" Pansy got up quickly, tears running down her cheeks, what can I say it's not my fault she's got no self-respect.

I tried to get Ainsley off my mind but it just wasn't working, she's not left my mind since that stupid kiss. And that fucking game tomorrow, thankfully my father couldn't make it so that's that. I don't even know why I told Blackwood to piss off. The thought of him with her just disgusted me.

I was going to ask Greengrass to that stupid Ball but now... But that bitch is as annoying as Parkinson. Both want either my money or a good fuck.

I've still to tell my mother about all of us spending the holidays at the manor. Hopefully my father will be away.

_Mother I've invited my friends to stay at the Manor for winter break. Can you get the guest rooms prepared?_

_-D.M_   
  
  
  


**_author's note_ **

**_I'd just like to say if I find any hate on my book you'll instantly be muted. Not liking a book is okay but giving people hate is another._ **

**_I'd also like to remind you that this is the first time I've ever decided to write a book so bear with me if it's not as good as other authors, I'm still learning._ **


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